To this day, I can still clearly recall four of my final visions and experiences when I had eyesight.
My final grocery shopping experience with eyesight was on Sunday, May 23rd, 1999. What I clearly remember is the sound of glass jars breaking, and the vision of spaghetti sauce splattering all over the store floor with the broken glass. I then looked towards my wife Kathy and with astonishment realized her white tennis shoes and socks were splattered with spaghetti sauce and she was surrounded by broken glass. After my initial surprise of the sounds and vision of the accident, I noticed my wife attempting to step around the broken glass, and through the spaghetti sauce that was surrounding her. I felt very nervous watching and sensing her uneasiness surrounded by these hazards. I feared that Kathy would slip and fall on the glass and injure herself. I attempted to remain as calm as possible as I assisted her to step through the dangerous obstacles. Once we were both clear of the hazards, we could not help laughing about the sight of the mess, including Kathy’s sauce splattered shoes and socks.
What I miss most is the freedom of going shopping and being able to see what is on the shelves or displays. I also miss the ability to watch out for obstacles and help others avoid them.
My final driving experiences were uneventful for those who have the option and ability to drive a motor vehicle. However, since I cherished the independence and relaxation of driving near the ocean, in the hills, high mountains, deserts, forests, paved and dirt roads these beautiful scenic images and experiences are with me continually. Monday, May 24th was a typical day of driving to and from work like any other day. Tuesday, May 25th was uneventful as well, except for on my way home from work I was entertained by a family of ducks, including some small young ducklings following closely behind the parents crossing the highway. All four lanes of traffic stopped to let this family of ducks cross the street safely. As I sat in the traffic jam watching everyone around me, I felt very content and happy that everyone cared enough to let this family of ducks cross the highway safely.
What I miss most is the freedom and fulfillment I felt when I could drive. I also treasured the ability to drive and go anywhere anytime I want; instead of having the option of being able to plan a trip where there is an accessible transportation route, or the option to graciously accept rides from others.
My final vision of my wife Kathy that is etched in my mind is from pictures in our wedding album. Every day I would look at these pictures of Kathy in her beautiful wedding gown and feel how lucky I am to have such a wonderful and caring wife, so much that her image is permanently etched in my mind. One fear I constantly have is that I might forget what the forever frozen - in - time and ageless, faces of my family and friends looked like. I fear these visions might fade with time, unless I consciously practice remembering how others I had once been able to see look like.
What I miss most, I will never again be able to look into my wife’s eyes and see her emotions or watch my wife age gracefully as we spend our wonderful and joyful years together.
Last Sight - Forever & Ever:
On Wednesday, May 26th, I heard doctors calling Kathy over to the hospital bed I was laying in. I do not remember how I got to the hospital bed, since I hardly remember Kathy driving me to the hospital that life changing night. I just remember eventually agreeing to let Kathy drive me to the hospital as I crawled across the floor in agony because I could not tolerate the excruciating pain any longer. I must have eventually got up from the floor and walked to the car since Kathy could not carry me, although I do not remember this part of my trip. Lying on my back in the hospital bed in a daze, I remember looking up into bright lights that surrounded me, experiencing unusual pain throughout my body with a sense I was slipping away from this world. I could not recognize any of the faces behind the medical masks looking down at me from all around my bed. Soon I heard my wife Kathy’s voice mixed in with all the other commotion as she walked towards the bed. From what seemed to come through the many doctors and nurses that surrounded me I felt Kathy’s compassionate hand gently touch me and provided some reassurance. I clearly remember looking in Kathy’s direction and telling her” I am sorry, I am dying”. Then my eyes watched the lights dimming around me as the light became narrower and narrower, as the light continually dimmed until the lights went out forever. I had slipped into a coma and was placed on life support. When I woke up from my coma three months later I had found I had become completely blind due to the extremely critical medical condition which caused me to go into the hospital. I am very grateful and overjoyed I lived to write about this experience, share my experiences, can see my wife again in my mind’s eye, and have the option to experience life with family and friends.
What I wish is that I did not choose such dreadful words as my potential last words. I wished I had enough sense in my mind to say something to give hope to my wife, like “I love you; I will talk with you again as soon as I can.”
Has anyone else had last visions that meant something special to you? These visions do not have to be visions with eyesight. They can be visions in your minds-eye, your goals, plans or wishes. We all look forward to hearing your thoughts, comments and stories to help us give meaning to our visions, and appreciate them.
Please cherish your vision, if you do have eyesight. You never know if these visions could be your last.
Global Dialogue Center