WOMEN: Our WORDS and ACTIONS SPEAK LOUD

We don't talk much about politics here at Women in the Lead. However, sometimes there are valuable object lessons that come up in the current affairs of the world that teach us all lessons that can be applied to our own leadership as women in the marketplace, workplace, community or wherever we find ourselves in a place of influence. At best, by examining what happened, we have a chance not to criticize, but to think and question our own behavior --- planting a seed for some later time when we may be in a similar situation.

Last week, Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton made some pretty hefty accusations about Barack Obama. Unfortunately, this is not so uncommon in politics when the pressure is on. However, where it went over the edge was when political will to win at all costs stepped on the contribution and memory of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in a way that for some was hurtful and appeared to disminish Dr. King's contribution for personal political advantage. This was reportedly very disappointing and shocking to those who have followed and believed the support both Bill and Hillary have professed for the African American community. Who would have imagined that in a heat moment of a campaign, either of them would use tactics that violated the values they have long espoused all for the sake of winning? Here is one interesting perspective that also provides a little contemporary interpretation and an historical portrait to consider.

More importantly, when given the opportunity to "say sorry" for the unintended result of her ill-spoken remarks on MEET THE PRESS, Hillary chose to continue to defend herself, disparage, and deny. Saying "Sorry, I made a mistake," would have gone a long way. This was a missed opportunity.

Some time back, Desmond TuTu, Nobel Prize Laureate, offered some sage advice that we can all benefit from:

"How wonderful if politicians [or leaders everywhere] could bring themselves to admit they are only fallible human creatures and not God and thus by definition can make mistakes. Unfortunately, they seem to think that such an admission is a sign of weakness. Weak and insecure people hardly ever say 'sorry'....It is large-hearted and courageous people who are not diminished by saying: 'I made a mistake'..."

What are the object lessons for us as women leaders?
I offer a few that seem to emerge from my mentors, experiences and inspirations over the years:

• Let YOUR Light shine. Never tear down someone else in an attempt to promote yourself. Sell based on your own merits. Disparaging others for your own personal gain sounds petty and small as a leader. "Use the good words," as Maya Angelou said.
• Learn to admit your mistakes. It really doesn't matter what you meant to say, thought you said, or wish you said. It only matters what others hear you say and how they receive it. If you blow it. Fess up. This big leadership action can do wonders when it meets a forgiving heart. Instead of an end, it can create a healing start.
• Use your words to set an example for others. Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements says it best: #1 Agreement - "Be impeccable with your word. Say only what your mean. Avoid using word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love." Use your words to inspire and lift up others, so they can be all that they can be.

I welcome your perspectives and other lessons you see or have learned along the way. Let's teach each other.

Hope you'll leave a comment!

Best...
Debbe

Debbe Kennedy, founder
Global Dialogue Center, home of Women in the Lead.