Putting Our Differences to Work by Debbe Kennedy: DEBATE on DIFFERENCES and RACE: Learning from Mandela

In recent days, the DEBATE about DIFFERENCES and RACE has been opened again. Dialogue is always good and becomes the first step toward the next level of ACTION, because the answers have a lot to do with US --- you and me. The hope of it all comes down to fundamentally changing how we think, operate, collaborate, and lead at every level of business and society. It's both personal and practical. It is a compelling call to SEE DIFFERENCES DIFFERENTLY.

There is much to learn from those who have transcended divides, deep hurts and injustice, and led the way for healing to begin by their example. Nelson Mandela serves an exemplary role model for us. What can we learn from his mastery of putting differences to work? How can his lessons be useful to us at this time in our history? How can they inspire us to be part of the next level of innovation in our relationships, in our work, in our lives, in our communities, as neighboring nations in an interdependent world? These are questions we need to consider.

I came across a timely piece of wisdom from Nelson Mandela that adds perspective to consider in our current discussion: "The purpose of studying HISTORY is not to deride human action, not to weep over it, or to hate it, but to LEARN FROM IT as we contemplate our future." In reflection, President Obama, Professor Gates, Police Sergeant James Crowley, and all involved in the human mistakes and misunderstandings that forced our attention again, agree that learning from these "teachable moments" is the most important action we can take. Nelson Mandela expands our learning experience:

Nelson Mandela turned 90 last year. By chance, I came across a commemorative article by Richard Stengal, MANDELA: His 8 Lessons of Leadership (Time, July 2008). His No.3 Lesson certainly applies:

Lead from the back — and let others believe they are in front.

Richard Stengal writes: Mandela loved to reminisce about his boyhood and his lazy afternoons herding cattle. "You know," he would say, "you can only lead them from behind." He would then raise his eyebrows to make sure I got the analogy.

As a boy, Mandela was greatly influenced by Jongintaba, the tribal king who raised him. When Jongintaba had meetings of his court, the men gathered in a circle, and only after all had spoken did the king begin to speak. The chief's job, Mandela said, was not to tell people what to do but to form a consensus. "Don't enter the debate too early," he used to say.

Mandela also handled his meetings with others with a quiet leadership, allowing others to express themselves from their unique vantage point. Richard Stengal puts the spotlight on this leadership skills in this story:

During the time I worked with Mandela, he often called meetings of his kitchen cabinet at his home in Houghton, a lovely old suburb of Johannesburg. He would gather half a dozen men, Ramaphosa, Thabo Mbeki (who is now the South African President) and others around the dining-room table or sometimes in a circle in his driveway. Some of his colleagues would shout at him — to move faster, to be more radical — and Mandela would simply listen. When he finally did speak at those meetings, he slowly and methodically summarized everyone's points of view and then unfurled his own thoughts, subtly steering the decision in the direction he wanted without imposing it. The trick of leadership is allowing yourself to be led too. "It is wise," he said, "to persuade people to do things and make them think it was their own idea." Read the full article.

Imagine what we could do to solve the problems we face if we could apply the learnings from this one leadership lesson --- turning hurt and talk into ACTION: We would learn to...

Lead from behind, looking for ways to lift others up by bringing them into the dialogue to explore possibilities; entering at just the right time.
We would bring people with clear differences together; listen to them; value what they have to say --- allowing them to be who they are.
We would mix all the goodness in the ideas, learning to listen and articulate the vision that came from the great diverse mix of intellect, experience, culture, and generational insight.
We would be willing to "be led" by the wisdom emerging from the group.

In my book, Putting Our Differences to Work, the Five Distinctive Qualities of Leadership and the Six Step Action Process provide the value-based intentions and framework to bring Nelson Mandela's lessons to life so they are real and relevant to the challenges and opportunities we face at this time of crisis on many fronts. I wrote, "Being asked to fundamentally change the rules in how we think, act, and operate as leaders may seem to be a tall order for many of us. At the same time, there is something familiar about being called to change ourselves in order to lead the way. In times of both crisis and opportunity, leaders are often asked to reinvent themselves; to redirect their attention in some significant way in order for them to champion a transformation of some kind. This is one of those times we’re being called on to put our differences to work to forge a new path" --- to learn while doing good --- building new levels of trust we need so badly to accelerate solving our most pressing problems --- reaching out beyond our own hurt and disappointments.

"Walk worn paths, only that new routes may be found."
--- Oguchi Nkwocka, M.D., Igbo visionary, Biafra-south-eastern Nigeria.

Our badly needed dialogue needs to be more than talk, exchange of ideas, and resulting conversations, we have to look at ourselves and "make that change" inside out. We continue to prove that the fastest way to do this is to work together across many dimensions of difference. Not so much with a focus on our individual agendas, but by investing ourselves in something greater than any one of us --- to recognize the worn, yet uncharted paths that bear our names; to walk them together; to lead the way for others for the good of all; to create change that endures this time.

Your thoughts? I would love to benefit from your wisdom.

Best...
Debbe

SPECIAL CREDITS:
Oil painting by Sally K. Green www.sallykgreen.com; it is one of seven exemplary leaders she painted above my desk; they look over me as I work with a humbling reminder to keep going.

Nelson Mandela quote taken from the "wisdom collection" of Bruce Lloyd, Professor Emeritus, Strategic Management, London South Bank University.

Debbe Kennedy
founder, Global Dialogue Center
and Leadership Solutions Companies
author, Putting Our Differences to Work
The Fastest Way to Innovation, Leadership, and High Performance
(Berrett-Koehler 2008)
YouTube Book Review by futurist Joel A. Barker