"When we allow for difference we allow for growth...for new possibilities. Imagine a world where we were not tested to explore the new—where everything was 'like us'." This was written by Maureen Simon on our Women in the LEAD INSPIRATION blog some time ago. She also offered this insight from Eugene Borrowitz:
“Only by directly confronting our deepest differences can we come to know one another fully."
As we continue the difficult work of economic recovery, increasingly bitter debates on health care and other contentious issues, as well as the challenges we all face related to securing peace vs war, well-being of our global citizens, and sustainability of our planet on many fronts, these two messages above have come back to me.
Perhaps, at the core of our most pressing problems lies our many dimensions of DIFFERENCE. As I recount in my book in compelling first-person stories, individuals and organizations throughout the world now recognize that finding the goodness in one another on many levels, holds the greatest promise and opportunity for the future in the marketplaces, workplaces, and communities throughout the world, because it generates the fuel for the well-known "engine of growth" - INNOVATION. It is after all relationship that ultimately helps us more fully understand one another, so we can, in turn, put all our creative differences to work to produce the GREAT IDEAS so badly needed to resolve our most pressing problems.
However, as I consider the two expressions about our differences above, it begs a question about words. What if we recast the insight of Eugene Borrowitz for a new time, substituting the word appreciate for the word confront, would it change the outcome? Would it improve the effectiveness of our relationships and in turn, the results achieved? Would our more thoughtful language have rippling influences on our very existence?
Our words are powerful.
Consider the MEANING and DIFFERENCE between these two words offered up in this discussion:
[con.front]To meet face to face with hostile or argumentative intent; face up to and deal with (a problem or situation).
[ap.pre.ci.ate] To recognize the full worth of; be grateful for; understand fully.
Somehow these words seem to be polar opposites in intention, don't you think?
It is difficult watching the world around us in such turmoil ... and in almost every neighborhood or workplace, or just down the street, we see so much violence in our words and deeds. We throw words and actions around carelessly. It isn't just what we see on TV and read on the Internet. Violence takes many forms---some are more subtle or camouflaged with hype and self-righteousness. There are struggles and inhuman behavior by all sides, one neighbor to another; one politician against another; one cause against another; one business against another. Sometimes it seems that we are so very lost as a human family. Distracted. Off our course. We are breaking the rules.
Across the ages, if we would just listen, there is timeless wisdom continuing its conversation with us ---- the how-to-do-it is clear. Just a small sampling, sets our direction, reflects the beauty of our differences, and affirms the common ground upon which we walk. Hold this vision...
Baha'i:
Blessed is he who preferreth his brother before himself.
Christianity:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. ...Love thy neighbor. -- The Bible
Islam:
"Whosoever of you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart..."-- The Holy Qur'an
Taoism
"Regard your neighbor's gain as your own gain and your neighbor's loss as your own loss." -- T'ai Shang Kan Ying P'ien
Judaism:
What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow man. That is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary." ----The Talmud
Confucianism:
"Surely it is the maxim of loving kindness: Do not unto others that your would not have them do unto you." ----The Analects 15, 23
Hinduism:
"This is the sum of duty: Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you."
The Mahabharata
Buddhism:
Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful."
----The Udana-Varga, 5, 18
Zoroastrianism:
"That nature alone is good which refrains from doing unto another whatsoever is not good for itself."
Dadistan-I-Dinik, 94, 5
Renewing Our Vision
It is easy to see we fall short. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. reminds us from another time that the human struggle is for the "reign of justice and a rule of LOVE." Imagine such a place ---- imagine a nation, a world, a city, a neighborhood, a corporation, and all our businesses living in such a way.
What can you do today to contribute to such a vision?
IMAGINE all of us one-by-one shifting our thinking and behavior toward this end.
Warm wishes to you all! Lead the way!
Debbe
Debbe Kennedy
founder, President and CEO Global Dialogue Center
and Leadership Solutions Companies author, Putting Our Differences to Work
The Fastest Way to Innovation, Leadership,
and High Performance (Berrett-Koehler 2008)
Buy a Copy at Amazon.com
YouTube Book Review by futurist Joel A. Barker
Let's get connected...
Facebook http://profile.to/debbekennedy/
Twitter @onlinedialogues and @debbekennedy
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/debbekennedy
FiledByAuthor: http://www.filedby.com/author/debbe_kennedy/490939/
Debbe: Not sure if the comment I left yesterday got lost in the system so I'll post it again.
I enjoyed reading your blog post about differences, words, and deeds. I've always believed that many of the things we do as adults can and should be learned from children and the process by which we educate them.
When we talk about honoring each other's differences and watching our words and actions, I think that children are our best teachers. For instance, I contend that character education (teaching children how to be better, more honorable world citizens by treating one another with respect) is also a great way to teach adults and business leaders.
Imagine teaching character education as a business ethics course!
Here are six qualities/pillars of character that can be taught (http://charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html):
Trustworthiness
Be honest • Don’t deceive, cheat or steal • Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do • Have the courage to do the right thing • Build a good reputation • Be loyal — stand by your family, friends and country
Respect
Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule • Be tolerant of differences • Use good manners, not bad language • Be considerate of the feelings of others • Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone • Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements
Responsibility
Do what you are supposed to do • Persevere: keep on trying! • Always do your best • Use self-control • Be self-disciplined • Think before you act — consider the consequences • Be accountable for your choices
Fairness
Play by the rules • Take turns and share • Be open-minded; listen to others • Don’t take advantage of others • Don’t blame others carelessly
Caring
Be kind • Be compassionate and show you care • Express gratitude • Forgive others • Help people in need
Citizenship
Do your share to make your school and community better • Cooperate • Get involved in community affairs • Stay informed; vote • Be a good neighbor • Obey laws and rules • Respect authority • Protect the environment
Taking any one of these, we can easily apply its lesson to our lives as adults and to our workplaces. For example, under "Respect", we have "Be tolerant of differences • Use good manners, not bad language • Be considerate of the feelings of others" and under "Responsibility", we learn to "Always do your best • Use self-control • Be self-disciplined • Think before you act — consider the consequences."
Somewhere along the way towards adulthood, we have forgotten these valuable lessons taught to us (hopefully) as children. I think it's important that we each reach deep within to learn again (or for the first time) these principles of humanity (compassion, decency, honor, respect, and citizenship).
Steve Nguyen
Posted by: Steve Nguyen | September 03, 2009 at 06:51 AM
Steve,
This is a wonderful addition. I believe I was involved with Character Counts some years ago and I am most appreciative to add your perspective to my thinking. Thanks so much for a thoughtful response.
Debbe
Posted by: Debbe Kennedy | September 27, 2009 at 04:23 PM