I thought I would bring up a topic that will help me for sure, and others I would think:
Do you ever wish you were just a little more self-confident? I do for sure!
Do you ever wish you can speak your opinion, even though your view is quite different then the group you are in?
Do you wish you had courage to try things that are more challenging than you normally would try, and learn to trust your instincts?
Maybe we can help each other be more confident in ourselves. I will give some examples of areas I could learn to be more self-confident. These are not my only areas I could improve upon. I hope others will have other examples with possible solutions they can share:
SPEAKING UP:
I attended some conference calls in which I was the only disabled person in the meeting. Nobody in conference call had ever met me or knew that I was disabled. Everyone was discussing ideas to help employees in meeting. As I listened I knew I had some ideas for sure about how to help the disabled employees, but because my ideas were so far different than the ones being discussed, I was hesitant to jump in with my ideas. Once I did, I found that all the others agreed with my ideas and thought the suggestions were very valuable and excellent ideas.
Most would have never known that the obstacles I talked about existed for disabled employees and were very happy that I shared my thoughts.
Lesson Learned:
- My learning’s from this experience is to speak your ideas even though you might think your ideas are very different than others. This is the only way you will get your thoughts heard, and you might be pleasantly surprised at the positive results. Plus being different is a good thing!
- You will feel much worse after meeting if you did not speak up and nobody heard your suggestion.
TRAVELING TO UNFAMILIAR PLACES:
When I travel in unfamiliar buildings, I wish I could be more self-confident. I am completely blind and have no light perception. As I walk down hallways or in cubicle mazes I seem to walk a little timidly at times. I am not sure if there will be old PC’s on floor, wooden pallets, or worse yet obstacles that stick out at head level. Obstacles that protrude out from sides and do not come up straight from ground get missed by my white cane. As I walk, I sweep my long white cane back and forth in front of me just touching the ground at times with taps as I go from side to side. This works best to detect objects that are on ground or directly in front of you that you might run into as you walk.
Sometimes I walk with my head slightly facing the ground, so if I did run into high obstacles my sweeping cane could not detect the obstruction would strike my forehead instead of hitting me directly in the nose or face. Getting hit in the forehead hurts far less than the nose or face. I have hit my head while walking down sidewalks outside on ladders when they are attached to truck racks and stick out over sidewalk, pipes attached to the same kind of truck racks and over the cab style campers when the over the cab part is over hanging the sidewalk. All of these obstacles my white cane misses because they are too high for my white cane to touch. I also hit my head on the standard low hanging branches. My legs are numb because of neuropathy and I do not walk too fast with my two canes, one support and one long white cane, so when I have hit my head in those instances I was never seriously injured so far.
So, when I walk in these unfamiliar buildings in cubicle mazes, I do not need to worry about these outside obstacles that I have run into in past, but I am still overly cautious and walk timidly at times. When navigating through lots of cubicles where I need to make a lot of turns in all directions I sometimes get worried I will get lost.
Recently wanted to attend a meeting live in the building complex where I work. Thought this would give me a great opportunity to meet the speaker in person and ask them a question directly, instead of over the phone or submitting question by some other mean. This building where meeting was held was attached to mine, but was three large buildings away. This meant to get to this location I had to go through the cubicle maze and find the exits and entrances to each of the three buildings on way to destination. These buildings did not connect at 90 degree angles or all in a row. Each is connected differently so the turns were subtle and at different angles on my route.
Before I left on my adventure to try to find this room I made sure I had used the restroom. Not sure when I would be back and did not know where any restrooms were on my route. I had a small snack to make sure I did not have a low blood sugar attack on my travels, I am also a diabetic and need to think of these precautions. Made sure I had my cell phone and small digital voice recorder to record names and phone numbers of people I might meet that I may want to stay in contact with. I left to reach my destination in plenty of time so if I got lost still had time to recover and make the meeting.
After a few left and right turns with some straight line walking I felt as if I was in an unfamiliar area. I stopped and listened and it did not sound familiar. Sometimes I can hear ventilation systems in some areas, hear large open areas, more confined areas or the echoes of stairway shafts. Nothing sounded familiar. I then started to checked the recent corners I just passed to see if I missed a turn along the way. Then I heard a voice call out, “Hi Bill, how are you? Where are you heading?” At first I did not recognize the voice until she said a few more words, then I did. She then asked if I wanted to walk with her and the group she was with. I accepted this thoughtful offer of help graciously and walked with her and the group. They asked what room I was going to as we walked and talked. Once at the room where meeting was to be held they found me an empty seat. I sat down and felt very relieved I had made this journey.
I was a bit nervous before I left on this adventure. I was at meeting in plenty of time, since I found this extra unexpected help that saved me lots of time so I had some morning snacks while I waited. Soon others came and sat at my table and we began to talk with each other as we all waited. I did not know any of these people who were coming and sitting next to me. I knew they did not know I was completely blind, but soon I had to tell them I could not see anything as they started to try to pass me drinks or food. I could not tell where the item was or who was handing me what. Some were pointing to items on table asking me to pass to them as well. My blindness did not bother any of them at all.
After talking more with others, I soon found out I was sitting in incorrect room. The meeting I was going to attend was being video broadcast to multiple locations including the room I was currently in. The speaker was not going to be speaking from the room I was currently sitting in. The group who helped me earlier accidentally brought me to the incorrect room. Meeting was just about to start and the room I was in was filled and I knew the room where the speaker was actually in would be full for sure. Plus I had no time to find the correct room. My thoughts of relief quickly turned to anxiety.
After meeting started, since I am completely blind I could imagine the speaker in my room directly in front of me as the video and audio was broadcast. I was not going to be able to ask the question I had planned or meet the speaker, but I got to meet all the great new people at my table. Luckily I brought my digital voice recorder to record a few contacts. I got to meet a few new people on my walk over to the room as well. I was still very proud of myself for not taking the easy way out and listened to the meeting by conference call and attended meeting live with others instead.
Lessons Learned:
- If I just start walking and keep walking I will get to where I am going. If I do not attempt I will not get to where I want and fail for sure.
- The only way I will get better at walking around in complicated environments is to just smile, think positive and go for it! I have never been lost for long or injured.
- When others offer help, think before you just say no. Sometimes it is good to accept help, not only for your benefit, but for the person’s benefit who offers such help.
Does anyone else have examples of where they could be more self-confident and may need extra help?
Any ideas to help us to be more confident?
Look forward to hearing your ideas.
Bill Tipton
Contributing Author, Global Dialogue Center http://www.globaldialoguecenter.com/
Hi Bill and thanks for providing us with yet another networking opportunity. This is my first post on here. I think one area in which I need to be more self-confident is orientation&mobility. I have had only light perception since birth and I previously had some top-quality O&M instruction by various professionals in the field. I use a white cane to get around. I was a pretty independent traveler, both indoors and outdoors. I did require some assistance with things like getting on trains, because of a balance problem. But for the most part I was pretty independent. However, this is not the case anymore. In August of 2004 I made the decision to move out of my parents' house and into an apartment in a nearby city. This apartment is part of a nonprofit organization which creates living opportunities for people with special needs. My apartment building happens to be in an area which seems to be constantly under construction. When I approached my state VR agency and requested some O&M instruction, they basically told me no way. These people told me that I needed a job first, before they could work on the O&M part. I immediately thought to myself, "Something is very wrong here!" This was also the thinking of my parents and the staff of this organization. Given the fact that my building is virtually surrounded by construction, however, we had put the O&M issue on the back burner. But now it is time to start looking at it again. At this point I'd like to bring up a question. What do you and others think about the argument that we need jobs before O&M? What if the process were reversed? I was going to bring this up with my VR counselors, but they wouldn't let me. Now I don't even go out of my building alone unless I am waiting for someone, in which case I wait close to the building or just inside the front door if the weather is not cooperative. Thoughts anyone?
Posted by: Jake | April 24, 2006 at 06:22 PM
Hi Jake,
Thanks for visiting and posting. You bring up a great question.
I know for sure what you mean about needing extra help with orientation and mobility (O & M). I could use more help in that area myself.
Not sure where you are located or if your VR is provided by Department of Rehabilitation (DR) if in the US. If you are in another country they might have some service that is equivalent, but not sure. If so I would argue that without proper O & M you could not successfully go out to interviews when you want or needed. What would happen if the potential employer called you and wanted to see you immediately. Without the O & M training to allow you to leave your residence safely and immediately without having to wait for help you might miss that job prospect.
Without the ability to practice your O & M skills anytime you feel like you may loose some of your well defined skills it took you most likely years to hone. If your VR decided to pay for O & M at some later date you would require more hours to get back up to speed which will cost more money in the long run. If you live in the US they would even save more money once you found a job because the state would not have to pay you social security.
I hope these suggestions help. Does anyone else have any suggestions or advice that may help.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Bill Tipton
Contributing Author,
Global Dialogue Center
http://www.globaldialoguecenter.com/
Posted by: Bill Tipton | April 27, 2006 at 07:24 PM
Thanks for your suggestions. Actually, I have attempted to explain to my rehab agency that if I needed to get out of my building for whatever reason, and I was alone, I wouldn't really know where to go. My counselors just made the excuse that "any smart person would know that they would need a job first." The rehab people just kept on pushing that excuse and I had absolutely no say in the matter whatsoever. I am located in Illinois, and currently funding has been a huge issue, but I don't necessarily think rehab people should use this excuse to justify not getting an O&M instructor to come out and work with me.
Posted by: Jake | May 01, 2006 at 05:44 PM
I have asked around some more about the O&M issue both here in this organization and online. Everyone seems to think that my VR agency is dead-on wrong in claiming that I need a job first before O&M is even considered. I have even asked around here if people would mind taking the time to do a bit of informal O&M training with me. As much as everybody cares and wants to help out, their schedules are all tight and they just cannot afford to spend all that time with me. On the one hand I honestly feel like just giving up, but I really don't think I should do that, at least maybe not yet. This weekend I am going to my parents' house for Mothers' Day, and I am going to ask if they might have any more suggestions. I really don't know why the VR agency is doing this to me. I fully understand the funding problem, but I have also heard of other VR clients who don't have jobs and who have been provided with at least some formal O&M instruction. I still have to kind of laugh when I think of what the VR people told me: that I need a job before I need O&M instruction. Some very serious logistical questions come into play here I think.
Posted by: Jake | May 11, 2006 at 03:35 PM