Anniversaries - What They Mean To You

Hello everyone,

I am celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary this month! You might not think that this occasion and milestone is so unusual. I hope you read on to see why it means so much to me and my wife Kathy.

I have experienced many anniversaries since I went completely blind and had to stay in hospital for 7 months in 1999. Some of my more gratifying anniversaries include the following.

• First time I was able to sit up in bed without help.

• First time I was able to sit at the dining room table and sit in a standard chair.

• First time I was able to put on my clothes by myself.

• First time I was able to get to the shower and take a shower on my own.

• First time I was able to walk outside on my own.

I had to learn how to do everything all over again just like I was experiencing everything for the first time as a child. To add to my challenges I lost the ability to walk for one year due to same illness which took my eyesight away from me instantly. I could go on, and on with above examples as you might imagine. Each one of the above anniversaries could have a story and message all by themselves.

In this message I want to focus on my wedding anniversary, since this month it is my 20th. This occasion is very special to me and my wife Kathy for many reasons.

I only remember 19 of my last 20 wedding anniversaries. You might wonder why? When I was sick I was in a coma for 3 months on life support in hospital. While I was in a coma I missed my 12th wedding anniversary. My wife had to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary looking down at me as I layed on a hospital bed on life support with many tubes in me as machines made me breathe. Kathy did not know if I would live or die at this point. The doctors were not even sure I would live. I can only imagine the hopeless and fear my wife must have had during this time. I had only been in a coma since May and Kathy did not know at this point I would not wake up until late in July.

More Obstacles to test Our Marriage
That situation might have sounded dire enough, but we were to soon find out we had more obstacles to overcome. When I did finally awake from my coma after 3 months we found out I lost all eyesight and I would never be able to see my wife Kathy’s face ever again.

I will always remember my 11th wedding anniversary. This was the last anniversary I was able to hold my wife and look into her bright caring eyes and see her loving expression on her pretty face. After my illness we both knew the future would be drastically changed from our plans we had when we took our wedding vows. After staying in hospital for 7 months, enduring many surgeries, procedures, acquiring new medical conditions which require daily care, loosing medical insurance and accumulating a large amount of debt because of medical expenses we were going to have a lot to overcome to test our marriage. We also realized I needed to get specialized training to allow me to live as a blind person and we needed to be connected to resources to help us be successful in our new changed life.

A New Life and Hope
I was pushed out into the sun and fresh air when I was finely released from hospital. Being alive is all we cared about at this moment. I had no idea of how to do anything as a newly blind person. My wife did not know how she would care for me since I did not even have enough strength to sit up in bed by myself. Having the ability to live again and be going home was the best gift of all. We were ready to tackle our new challenges together. We would be able to share our new lives together and experience many more wedding anniversaries together. Even though I can now only see blackness when I hold my wife and look towards her eyes, I am still very happy. I would not trade my life for anything! Our lives together will continue to grow with love and happiness in each passing year. Being completely blind and experiencing all of my other medical conditions is much better than having never awakened from my coma and having my wife Kathy not have me any more. I am blessed to be able to experience my 20th wedding anniversary for sure!

Now you know some of why this anniversary is so special to me

What I have learned about why anniversaries are so special.
• You should avoid looking to the future hoping for more happiness in your life.

• You should live in the present and enjoy your opportunities of the moment.

•Do not expect all to go smoothly, or the way you planned. Be flexible.

• You should appreciate every anniversary. You never know when it might be your last chance.

Some of you might have challenges you want to share that are far grater then I have that bring special meanings around anniversaries for you. Even if you have no challenges we want to hear any anniversaries of any type you want to share with us. You don’t even need to be married or have a partner to celebrate such an occasion, like I listed above as some of my other anniversaries. Do you have any thoughts about anniversaries?

We look forward to hearing from you.

Bill Tipton
Contributing Author,
Global Dialogue Center
http://www.globaldialoguecenter.com/

Comments

[Avril]

Inspiring story, as always, Bill! Most of us live life assuming that everything will stay the way it is, and as a result, we forget to notice or appreciate what we have. As Joni Mitchell sings in Big Yellow Taxi: "You don't know what you've got till it's gone." Your story is a timely reminder to pay attention and enjoy what we have. It's also a testament to your great resilience and grace of spirit in bouncing back from catastrophe.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU AND KATHY – MAY YOU ENJOY MANY, MANY MORE HAPPY YEARS TOGETHER!

[Julia Stone]

Bill,

YOU ROCK! What strenght and courage that you bring to life as an example to all of us!

Warm regards your buddy,

Julia Stone

[Flo Stafford]

Bill: What an amazing story. Happy Anniversary. You and Kathy are really wonderful, inspiring examples for the rest of us. Thank you for sharing you story with me. Your friend, Flo

[Debbe Kennedy, Women in the Lead Inspiration BLOG]

Dear Bill,

What a heart-warming and amazing anniversary story. May God bless you and Kathy!

Debbe Kennedy
Global Dialogue Center

[Bill Tipton]

Hello everyone,

Thanks so much for your heart warmed wishes and comments. We really love sharing our anniversary joy with everyone.

Avril, thanks for reminding me of when Joni Mitchell sings in Big Yellow Taxi : "You don't know what you've got till it's gone.”
(Full text of lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/joni+mitchell/big+yellow+taxi_20075370.html

I really like that song and had to listen since you reminded me of it. Listening to that song makes me think a lot of times; we really do not know what we have until it is gone. Also reminded me I have wanted to find the time to teach myself to play the acoustic guitar by ear so I could play songs like the Big Yellow Taxi some day.
Here is a great link Bill Brown's Music for the Blind: http://www.musicfortheblind.com/

If anyone wants to read about my 19th wedding anniversary read Vacationing with a Disability.

http://globaldialoguecenter.blogs.com/disabilities/2006/07/vacationing_wit.html

Does anyone else want to share any experiences in which you did not know what you had until it was gone? Any special events like anniversaries you want to share with us?
We all look forward to hearing from you.

Bill Tipton
Contributing Author,
Global Dialogue Center
http://www.globaldialoguecenter.com/

[Leonie Wynhoven]

Bill,
This was a great great article. I hope you had a wonderful anniversary. Whenever I think anything is challenging in my life all I need to do is read one of your amazing stories to put some perspective into things.
Leonie

[Guy Tiphane]

Happy Anniversary, Bill and Kathy!
You always remind me that we renew ourselves every minute of our lives!

[Carol]

Hi Bill;
Your message and link to this blog was a god-send. I was just feeling extremely sorry for myself today. I can have a geat pity party when I want to. Your message truly made me re-focus. I just finished celebrating my 31st anniversay and compared to what work is putting me through right now, you're right - I need to just enjoy now.
Bless you,
Carol

[Gayl]

Dear Bill.

What an inspiration you and your wife, Kathy are! Charles and I were so happy to meet up with you last week at Debbe's book launch.

When we were asked to write down something about ourselves that people might not know, I wrote down that I was a "memory maker". What I meant by that was that I work hard at creating memories for Charles and me so that we have blessings to remember always.
I don't want "things", I want happy memories to carry with us forever. It is why we went to the launch and celebrated with Debbe and yourself and so many others. It was a memory in the making for us.

I'm not sure you know this, but your story was instrumental in this decision in my life to make memories. After meeting you in 2006 and witnessing your strength and passion for life, I decided to live everyday to the fullest because you just never know will happen...

Charles and I will celebrate our first anniversary next April and I hope we have many more to come. But no matter what awaits us, I do know that we will cherish each day together and create wonderful memories that will give us joy always.

Thank you Bill!
Gayle

[Bill Tipton - Life and Work with a Disability BLOG]

Gayle, I very much enjoyed meeting you again at Debbe’s book release reception. My wife Kathy enjoyed Charles and your company as well. I was very happy to get to meet Charles in person during the very happy occasion.

With your great attitude, zest for life and true happiness you and Charles will have many wonderful and joyous years to celebrate together. When I am around people like yourself and others like those at Debbe’s book release reception it is like I can almost see. This is because what I see is not with my physical eyes. I see and feel the positive energy from all around me shine through my darkness.

Guy; Kathy and I very much enjoyed your company on the same trip. The time flew by during our dinner and afterwards as we talked for hours.
It is like how the time has gone by so fast with Kathy and our marriage together. All good things go by too fast.

I wrote about my wonderful anniversary week at Celebrating Life: http://globaldialoguecenter.blogs.com/disabilities/2008/06/celebrating-lif.html

Carol; I look forward to hearing more from you in future. Thanks so much for all of your help.

Does anyone else have any anniversary’s they want to share? Any other celebrations of life and joy you want to talk about? We all look forward to hearing from you.

Bill Tipton
Contributing Author
Global Dialogue Center
http://www.globaldialoguecenter.com/

[Cathy Stewart]

Hi Bill

You are an inspiration with the endurance to overcome each obstacle put in your path. You and Kathy deserve a wonderful Anniversary so I hope you Dance until you feel the joy and love you have for one another. I really like this song as well and when I need a boost I listen to "Dance with Father again" by Luther Vandross, my Dad was my inspriation growing up and I need it as an adult sometimes also.
Have a Great Dance....your friend Cathy

[Bill Tipton - Life and Work with a Disability BLOG]

Cathy, thank you very much for the anniversary wishes.

Cathy, thank you for sharing your memories around Luther Van Dross-Dance With My Father Again. I replied to your thoughtful message at Importance of Special Songs.
http://globaldialoguecenter.blogs.com/disabilities/2008/09/importance-of-s.html

Is anyone else celebrating any anniversaries? We all look forward to hearing about your special anniversaries and how you celebrate one of life’s beloved gifts.

Bill Tipton