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Hi Bill,
I have been negatively affected by other people's comments and I have found that the delivery made a world of difference. It should be clear to anybody that if one is destructive, there can't be any other outcome than ruins, not only in the work, but also in future cooperation.

Some people have a destructive approach and if they don't like something they will tell you as if they held universal knowledge. Often they don't, and my suggestion is to be prepared. When you're bringing up the results of your work, try to see its vulnerability, and try to assess those risks. This way, when the negative comment comes, you can say, well I thought of that and it turns out not to be that important, or something like that.

Another way is to empathize with the person by saying you understand his frustration, and explaining how you came to your conclusion. Negotiate their frustration down to accepting what you have now and working towards a new goal.

I am very sensitive to negative comments, and it traces back to childhood. I can be hurt very easily. I must take a deep breath, close my eyes, and tell myself that the other person has some kind of problem that I can't solve. It is best to just end the interaction at that moment. Maybe the day after, I will have a new solution that is bullet and bully-proof, while that person will not have thought of anything.

Hello Guy and all,

Thanks so much for sharing your valuable comments and insights Guy.

I agree the delivery makes a world of difference. Even in my written and verbal communications I still have to remember delivery technique is very important for a successful outcome.

I like your idea of negotiating the frustrations down from accepting what I have now and working towards a new mutually beneficial goal. Especially if this outcome is in the direction you want for your final outcome or will handle most of your initial goals.

I am also sensitive to negative comments. I think mine could be traced back to when I lost my eyesight. I know how hard I have worked and continue to do so to overcome my challenges to allow myself the ability to get to do what I currently do. When someone makes negative comments towards me; I feel that the comments are my fault and I need to work even harder.

I know that is not physically possible; but in the back of my mind; even when I try to sleep at night these haunting negative comments disturb me. If I do not overact at that given point in time and wait a day the comments might not feel so personal to me.

Does anyone else have anything to help us keep up our self confidence? I believe self confidence is critical for lasting peace of mind and personal health.

We all look forward to hearing from you.

Bill Tipton
Contributing Author
Global Dialogue Center

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