Attending 30th High School Reunion Without Eyesight

At times we need to experience feelings of potential discomfort. We need to overcome the fear of the unknown to enable positive opportunities to become a reality. This will allow another step forward in experiencing life’s joys of companionship, continuous learning and networking opportunities. Recently, I was faced with this reality:

I had the opportunity to attend my 30 year High School reunion. I could have stayed at home and spent an enjoyable evening with my family, complete work in my profession, participate in recreational activities, or just spend time relaxing.

Contemplating Attending My Reunion
Took Planning and Thought

In the 20-30 years since I last saw most of my former classmates, I experienced a traumatic life changing event. I became completely blind and now require the assistance of two canes to walk (a long white cane and a support cane) due to a critical medical condition.

Not having seen most of these former classmates in many years made me wonder how I would recognize them without eyesight and not having the ability to look at their faces. Without eyesight, I couldn't look in high school yearbooks to re-acquaint myself with the names and faces of these former classmates. With the many years that passed since graduation, I was sure I could not recognize their voices and put names to them. These thoughts brought up feelings of both mild anxiety and positive excitement.

Fear of The Unknown Was Not Going To Stop Me
I arrived at the event with my wife Kathy accompanying me. Kathy attended a different high school than I did; therefore she didn't know anyone and could not help me find people I had known. While standing in line to check in, surrounded by my own darkness, I listened intently to the many conversations all around me, anxiously awaiting and hoping for someone to recognize me.

Soon, my wife and I were checked in and had our name badges on and were walking around hoping somehow I would find a person I had known that recognized me.

We quickly found a couple of very nice people I did not know, or had not attended school with. We carried on a very lively and pleasant conversation as we got to know each other. We all got along so well, we decided to sit together at the same table.

I was still determined to find classmates I had known. With my wife’s help we walked around, navigating our way through the maze of people and tables. The room was filled with very lively conversations and loud music. I attempted to listen to see if I would hear anyone I might know. I felt as if we were fish bait on a hook trolling to catch a fish; the fish being former classmates I had known. Most of the people we would pass had no idea I did not have any vision, and would gently bump against me as Kathy and I walked through the crowd. As we walked past the many people, I would wonder who they might be, while still concentrating on following Kathy, my footing (don’t want to trip over tables, chairs, or people’s legs) and maneuvering through the obstacles.

Eventually we found a former classmate I had known since elementary school, and had not seen in over 30 years. We had an exhilarating conversation. Shortly after, others I had known came over to join our conversation and reacquainting, after the many years that had passed.

While sitting at our table, others I had known came over to greet us. Most did not know I had lost my vision. When I looked in the direction of the person talking to me and joined in the conversation, I gently told them I could not see them. Others asked if I recognized them as I started new conversations. I explained my lack of vision as gently as possible, as not to make them feel too uncomfortable.

It was very difficult holding conversations with the loud music and multiple conversations going on all around. Others would come over and attempt to get my attention to engage in a conversation. Since I could not see when someone would walk up to me, I had no idea anyone was around attempting to talk with me. I am afraid I never got to talk with some people because I never knew they were right next to me trying to get my attention. To this day I hope I did not offend any of these people, since I never got to explain my vision loss as the reason why I did not respond when they walked over to me. Not being able to see people’s faces and the direction they were facing, made it difficult to tell if they were trying to engage in a conversation with me or talking with someone else. Therefore, attempting to engage in a conversation became a real challenge. However, with some help from Kathy and others, I handled most conversations with ease.

The Joyous Occasion was Worth the Minor Challenges
Overcoming minor challenges to enable my wife and me to experience such a fun filled and joyous occasion was well worth any perceived challenges. Meeting many wonderful, caring and talented people who are willing to accept the differences in everyone was a blessing. I was grateful to have such an accepting group to embrace how my life has changed. Everyone I met was very happy that I decided to attend our reunion and share this joyous and memorable experience with others.

Has anyone experienced feelings of potential discomfort, only to find out the action of participation and engaging in new experiences was well worth the risk? Any stories we can all learn from? We all look forward to hearing from you.

Let’s have the courage to live life without fears of the unknown. Remember, extending yourself not only helps you, it could possibly help others you touch with your companionship!

Bill Tipton

Contributing Author,
Global Dialogue Center
http://www.globaldialoguecenter.com/

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/wdtipton
Facebook: http://profile.to/wdtipton
Twitter: http://twitter.com/wdtipton

Comments

[Debra DiSalvo]

Thank you Bill for such an inspiring story. I am on my way to visit my mom for my regular 2X week visit. Today, my time with her will not seem so mundane because of your story. You are right, whether something new and unknown or something routine, we should persue with the excitement of anticipation. Thanks again.
debbi

[Linda]

Hi Bill :) Having just attended my 20th high school reunion, I still had many of the same feelings. Though I am blessed to have my sight, I am not a person that handles small talk with virtual strangers very well. It was a tough decision for me to go. After many years have passed, memories are clouded and I didn't remember most of the people there, and many times the yearbook pictures still didn't help.

Even though my feelings of discomfort and trepidation were with me through the night, I'm glad I went and shared an evening with some of my long-lost friends.

I am happy that you decided to got to your reunion, as well. It is better to experience all that life offers, rather than sit idle and watch it slip by.

[Kelli Olilveri]

Hi Bill,
I'm so glad you got to experience your 30th reunion. (I really enjoyed my 20th a couple years ago). It sounds like it was a great night for both of you. I think life is filled with many of these opportunities and risks - and we all must make decisions on whether to face them and grow or run (and we often ignore them or avoid making time or find reasons we can't do something out of our comfort zone). Sometimes I embrace these situations and other times I run scared :) But there are many examples of these in my life starting with my husband and children and the road that led me to them - where I ended up extremely blessed for taking the chance. I think this is a great reminder of the blessings that come with taking risks. Thanks for sharing and take care.

Love,
Kelli

[Bill Tipton]

Hi Debbi, Kelli, Linda and all,

Debbi, Kelli, Linda, thank you so much for sharing your thoughtful and insightful comments with us.

Debbi, I am joyful you will pursue your mom’s visits with excitement and anticipation.

Linda, prior to losing my vision and almost dying I did not handle small talk well. I also did not socialize or engage with others, with gratitude, as much as I do now. I am very happy you overcame your discomfort and trepidation to experience everlasting memories with your long-lost friends.

Kelli, I very much agree life is filled with many opportunities and risks, and we all must make decisions on whether to face them and grow or run. I am joyous you have taken risks and cherished opportunities to grow.

Has anyone else experienced feelings of potential discomfort, only to find out the action of participation and engaging in new experiences was well worth the risk? Have you found it easier to avoid risks or avoid making time to experience new feelings, or find reasons not to do something out of your comfort zone? We all look forward to hearing from you.
Remember, extending yourself not only helps you, it could possibly help others you touch with your companionship!

Bill Tipton
Contributing Author,
Global Dialogue Center
http://www.globaldialoguecenter.com/
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/wdtipton
Facebook: http://profile.to/wdtipton
Twitter: http://twitter.com/wdtipton