I received a meaningful comment from Joe Raasch in response to my message, Discovering the JOY in any season. I wanted to share both Joe's comment and my response to him with all of you. As we move into a new year, our exchange offers all of us an opportunity for a new level of discovery of deeper meaning in our lives and work. It also opens the way for a broader dialogue.
JOE RAASCH COMMENT...
Dr. Alex, I just finished a second read of your book. It is becoming clear to me that our society doesn't possess bad intention and not want to find meaning. We just forgot how. Much the same in our search for joy during the holiday season. I celebrate Christmas and see the extended commercialism that some try to use to get that joy. We want it, we just forgot how to find it.
MY RESPONSE TO JOE...
Dear Joe,
Thank you for letting me know that you've read my book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts, a second time! And thanks for posting your insightful comment on my meaning blog. I agree with you that our society doesn't "possess bad intention and not want to find meaning." As you astutely point out, somewhere along our path we seem to forget how to realize our will to meaning. And since you've read my book twice, I suspect that now you can see why it was written primarily as a practical, "how-to," guidebook on the search for meaning. Indeed, I am blessed to have been able to stand on the shoulders of my mentor, Dr. Viktor Frankl, whose life and legacy will forever bring light to darkness by underscoring what really matters in life--the search for meaning.
Remembering "how" to do something, however, is not sufficient cause to bring about authentic and sustainable change. We must first acknowledge and embrace the "why" of what we intend to accomplish, and this includes our "want to find meaning." And it is our personal (and collective) responsibility to remember "why" the search for meaning is so important, much in the same way that it is our personal (and collective) responsibility to remember "why" the search for joy (and discovering the deeper "meaning" of joy) during the holiday season is so important.
To be sure, in a world that is so fast-changing and increasingly complex, it is both more difficult to remember what really matters in life and easier to abdicate our personal responsibility for doing so. We can always find something or someone else to "blame" for our circumstances and therefore rationalize our attitude or behavior, can't we?! To truly look within ourselves and to cut across the grain of something like "extended commercialism" are not especially easy, let alone desirable, paths to follow in the postmodern era even if we supposedly "know how."
In the late 19th Century, the German psychologist, Dr. Hermann Ebbinghaus, a pioneer in the field of human memory (although studies of memory can be traced to the Greek poet, Simonides, in 477 BC), introduced what he called the "Law of the Forgetting Curve." In effect, all human beings are prone to forget and unless they actively do something to alter the forgetting curve, the dual challenge of retention and recall quickly becomes formidable. In fact, studies have demonstrated that the "average" person is bound to forget about 75% of whatever material is presented to her or him within the first 24 hours and over 90% over the course of only 30 days, unless something is done to retain the information in one's consciousness! So, Joe, you can see that we all have our work cut out for us! Whether we are seeking to alter the forgetting curve of "how" to find meaning and/or joy (during the holiday season or not), or we are looking to alter the forgetting curve of "why" we need to find meaning (and authentic joy) in our lives, the onus of responsibility falls again upon us.
We must more than "want" something in order not to forget about it. In fact, if we really know what we "want," that is, we "know" the deeper meaning behind the intention, according to Dr. Frankl, we are more likely to achieve our intention by "forgetting" about it! In Chapter 10 of my book, I try to illustrate how this logotherapeutic principle actually works. Although it may seem counter-intuitive to some, our search for joy during the Holiday season--or at any other time in our lives--is not something that we can pursue; rather, it is something that ensues by "extending beyond oneself." If this doesn't make sense, it may be time for a third reading of Prisoners of Our Thoughts!
Let me know what you think and thanks again for sharing!
What thoughts do you have to add to this dialogue? Hope you let me know.
...and to all of you, Happy New Year!
All the best,
Alex
Alex Pattakos, Ph.D.
author, Prisoners of Our Thoughts
founder, Center for Meaning
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