I recently returned from another European trip--this time to England and Germany. In short, it was a very wonderful, productive, and, once again, meaningful experience. Indeed, having the opportunity to share the Principles in my book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts, with people around the world can be nothing but wonderful, productive, and meaningful!
News that rocked the foundation of my being
When I returned to my home town of Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA, I was struck with news that, quite frankly, rocked me at the very foundation of my being and placed me in a situation where I had to "walk the talk."
It was the morning after my late night arrival when I learned that a friend of mine in Santa Fe had been killed in a hit and run accident by a drunk driver! Reading about this tragedy in the local newspaper and seeing my friend, Sara's photo on the front page with a caption confirming that she was the victim was, at best, a surreal experience for me. My first reaction was to cry in disbelief. This was followed by a wave of anger driven by the larger social problem and its dire consequences. Then, I felt an emptiness in the pit in my stomach as I recalled the last time that I had seen Sara in town, which had not been that long ago. And because her life partner is also a friend, the agony of the moment seemed to get worse as I reflected on his plight and that of their respective families.
The next couple of days were filled with feelings of sorrow and compassion, not only for Sara and her immediate family, but also for all of those who had effectively become the "collateral damage" of this unfortunate tragedy, including the community of Santa Fe. It was as if the entire community (Santa Fe means "Holy Faith") had been put to the test, since Sara had been a lifelong resident, was a well-known business entrepreneur, and had established a credible reputation as a social activist, especially in regards to environmental concerns which are core to the spirit of Santa Fe.
A week of deep self-reflection
The week that followed was also a time of deep self-reflection, both individually and collectively. Among other things, there was a celebratory gathering in Sara's honor in the Santa Fe National Forest, a place that she held dear and for which she had become one of its most defiant protectors. In a weird way, I guess that I was fortunate to be in town at the time of this gathering, so was able to be present among Sara's family and "community" of friends and kindred spirits. The gathering proved to be a true celebration of Sara's life and legacy as told through many "stories" of her meaning-full approach to living.
To be sure, Sara's life was tragically cut short. Her loss will be felt by those who were fortunate to have been touched by her grace, and she will be missed. I am blessed for being one of those who will feel her loss and who will miss her. You see, Sara (and her partner) was very familiar with my meaning-centered work and my book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts. Moreover, I would even say that she resonated with the Principles that I espouse and, more importantly, she practiced them naturally in her daily life. She lived her life with meaning and viewed life as being inherently meaningful. So, as I reflect upon her loss, I also see how her legacy of meaning can never be really lost.
Practicing what I preach
Upon my return from Europe, I was faced with an opportunity to "walk the talk" and "practice what I preach" in real time. Believe me, I found myself digging deep, in an existential sense, and relying at different times on all seven Principles that I describe in Prisoners of Our Thoughts as I struggled with Sara's death. It was not easy; it never is. At the same time, I've gained an increased appreciation for the meaning of life's moments (Principle 3) and, because of Sara's living example, am now even more committed to a life of meaning and practicing what I preach.
Questions for you
Have you ever felt a loss or tragedy similar to what I have described here? How did you respond?
What did you learn from the situation and, more importantly, how did you grow and develop from the experience?
I would be interested to hear your thoughts and feelings on this matter.
All the best,
Alex
Alex Pattakos, Ph.D.
author, Prisoners of Our Thoughts
founder, Center for Meaning
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by Alex Pattakos, Ph.D.