I don't know much about Michael Vick. I admit I am not a sports fan. His reported behavior and abuse of dogs is beyond comprehension. However, I would like to cast the light on his public apology.
Michael Vick's public apology was one of the best --- and one of the first heart-felt apologies --- I've heard by any world leader, public official or celebrity in many years. It took a lot of courage for Michael Vick to stand up and make the admissions he made today on a public stage from his heart. I can't remember seeing such a "true confession" by a celebrity or leader at any level. No excuses. No half-truths. No blaming. His face and eyes and words came across as TRUTH and by doing so, he set a new standard for accepting responsibility for one's mistakes, poor judgment and its implications on the lives of others --- and in this case the lives of innocent animals. Thank you, Michael Vick.
What's been ringing in my ears for days when I've heard the reports on Michael's case is "There but for the Grace of God, go I." The reports that have been the most distressing are the ones with finger-pointers with their mean words thrown out carelessly, blaming, calling him names and yelling in modern day terms, "Crucify him." It makes me wonder about our capacity for compassion for one another. I wonder if those with mean-spirited words for Michael Vick have examined their on lives lately? Or if any of them have ever stood up publically with such courage?
Every time I've thought about his mom and family, or imagined how devastating it must be for him to wake up in the morning, knowing he has demolished at least temporarily a pretty remarkable life with promise that he had going --- all in the name of momentary power and few poor decisions, because he could. It makes my heart ache for him.
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"There but for the Grace of God, go I."
Inspired by following Michael Vick's story in the distance, Bay Area artist, Sally K. Green, traced the history of this famous quote that we hear so often and discovered it was said by John Bradford in a moment of compassion for someone else in the year circa 1555. She painted a painting of John Bradford today with the story to remind us to have compassion for others in the human family in distress.
Go see the painting and story.
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MICHAEL VICK IN CONTRAST TO OUR LEADERS
It is interesting to contrast of Michael Vick's courageous apology with that of the lawyer written apologies, half-hearted apologies, or non-existent apologies of our most powerful leaders of the world.
As an example, Desmond TuTu commented sometime back on the value of saying we are sorry and the BIGNESS it takes to do so. He shared his perspective related to George Bush's and Tony Blair's inability to make amends for their blunders in the Iraq War. Desmond TuTu shared his comments several years ago --- the war rages on with no end in sight --- and no apology or admission of wrong doing. One must note that there are far bigger implications and costs in lives of people, soldiers, and animals in their mistakes, as well as destruction of infrastructure, fraud, displacing millions of people from their homes, misappropriation of public funds, abuses to our fellow citizens, lies and poor judgment. But rumor has it that they won't be either accepting, or be held to any such accountability as Michael Vick is called to do. This is certainly a clear example of a double standard laws of our broken society and governments.
INSIGHTS FROM DESMOND TUTU
"How wonderful if politicians could bring themselves to admit they are only fallible human creatures and not God and thus by definition can make mistakes. Unfortunately, they seem to think that such an admission is a sign of weakness. Weak and insecure people hardly ever say 'sorry'.
"It is large-hearted and courageous people who are not diminished by saying: 'I made a mistake'.
...We've seen it at home in South Africa in the Truth and Reconciliation Commission when people who had made, I mean, perpetrated some of the most ghastly atrocities say, "Sorry." It has an incredible capacity to change the dynamics of a situation. Well, those of us who are married know just how difficult it is. It is the most difficult set of words to say in any language. I find it difficult to say it in the privacy of our bedroom, to say, "Sorry, darling, I -- yes, I'm sorry." But what it can accomplish. You say sorry. It pours balm. We've seen it do that. A country that should have gone up in flames, South Africa, was saved by the fact that people were ready to forgive, and people were ready to say, "Sorry." That would be the first step."
FORGIVENESS for Michael:
"There but for the Grace of God, go I."
What has really touched me about this case with Michael Vick has been watching how easily we can fall from Grace. A few wrong turns and we've ruined our reputation, lost our careers, disappointed those who looked to us for leadership, left our mothers heart-broken and left a long and winding road to walk to reach redemption. It is one of those times, when you think of many temptations in your own life that could have so easily led you down a life-altering road and it makes it easy to say, "There but for the Grace of God, go I."
To Michael Vick --- Thank for your leadership today. It was refreshing. I forgive you. I look up to you for setting an example for us all in how to say we are sorry.
Debbe
Debbe Kennedy
Founder, Global Dialogue Center and
Leadership Solutions Companies
www.globaldialoguecenter.com
In order to extend love to others and to everything in the circle of life you must first love yourself. Without love for yourself you really can't extend true heartfelt love to everything in the circle of life.I have my doubts that Mr. Vick has reached this level of compassion so quickly when his past actions for the last 27 years have not demonstrated love for himself or for the complete circle of life. Past actions normally predict future actions unless theraputic intervention has occured.No doubt he has received some coaching from a public relations firm ,but I'm talking about theraputic intervention.Mr. Vick referred to the Lord Jesus as his Master in 2000-2001 quotes.Obviously when speaking of Jesus , God , Lord,etc. to the masses there is a certain unifying power that the reference will bring about and almost always will sway others to think the best of the person who is speaking.My advice to Mr. Vick is that instead of saying he has found God, why not ask yourself if Jesus would do it before you engage in certain actions? I have no doubt that Mr. Vick is sorry , I'm just not convinced that he really feels that his heinous acts of cruelty to animals were wrong. His mother,Brenda Vick Boddie, said he did nothing wrong, and he doesn't deserve prison. In the past she holds that Marcus, her other son, is young and it's okay for young people to make mistakes because everyone who is young makes silly,stupid mistakes. According to Brenda, Marcus does not deserve incarceration either.Brenda Vick asserts they have both found God,so they're okay and just let them be. I certainly hope that Mr.Vick as well as the other perpetrators learn from this experience and understand that they must begin by loving themselves from the heart. Linda Stevens
Posted by: Linda Stevens | August 28, 2007 at 06:12 AM
Dear Linda,
Thank you for sharing your thoughtful perspective. You make some stirring points in your message and I've been thinking about what you wrote all day --- there were a few recurring thoughts I thought I would share back. Would love to know what you think...
1. I think your insight on loving themselves from the heart is very powerful. Oh, if we could all do this the world would be very different.
When we make a mistake, we can't take it back and when mistakes come we are all at different levels of readiness for saying, "I'm sorry." I think you are probably very correct that Michael Vick has full taken in the full array of sweeping implications of his horrible behavior. Even in my own life, when I think about mistakes I've made, I still see things and absorb them more fully with each passing year. It is obvious that Michael Vick did as he said some very immature behaviors. No mature person would choose to ruin their lives like he has done. He will pay for all his life in someway --- maybe not in ways we will witness. This seems like a pretty big punishment to have these crimes as your legacy, yes?
Where my compassion comes in is in striving to develop a "forgiving heart." This was hard for me. The turning point was a message I read from Emmet Fox. It goes like this (paraphrased): "Jesus said forgive and you will be forgiven. What he didn't say is you are forgiven and now you TRY to forgive others." This for some reason at the time I read it really hit me. Certainly, I want always to be forgiven. But it never occurred to me that it was conditional on me forgiving first. Oooooh! This is hard to do. Much easier to TRY to forgive others or partly forgive them, don't you think? I've not got it mastered yet for sure, but the unintended consequences of this situation with Michael Vick, made me pause to see how I am progressing in this practice. Medium.
I did think Michael did a rare heartfelt apology that was refreshing to hear from celebrity or public official.
2. As a mother, I can understand Michael's mother's heartache over her children and wanting to see the best in them even in the worse. I'm sure she has a hole in her heart for them both and hopes God has touched them. It only takes an instant. The whole situation is very sad.
Just had a moment, so I'm not going to proof this. Please fill in words if needed :-)
Thanks for writing! Would love to know if any afterthoughts come up for you.
Debbe
Posted by: Debbe Kennedy, Global Dialogue Center PERSPECTIVES Blog | August 28, 2007 at 07:24 PM
Without expressing any faith in Micheal Vick's redemption, I still have to agree with you that his statement is refreshing in contrast to recent political statements coming from some political tagging crews such as those from Texas and Idaho.
Posted by: Vigilante | August 28, 2007 at 11:34 PM
Vigilante,
Thanks for writing. Nice to know you too saw the contrast. It was quite a difference from the ones out of Texas and Idaho.
Debbe
Posted by: Debbe Kennedy, Global Dialogue Center PERSPECTIVES Blog | August 29, 2007 at 09:56 AM
To be able to extend forgiveness to others, one must first be able to forgive oneself.You cannot extend what is not within you.Forgiveness of self is a vital process of loving yourself. All of us have an ego and a heart/soul. The ego is the me, me, me. The ego encages or entraps us.The ego is devoid of love and compassion. Actions stemming from the ego will come back and bite us on the bum.Let go of the me,me,me, or ego and you will experience complete freedom.We all have a perfect heart/soul.Choices or actions stemming from the heart/soul are filled with love and compassion.I like to think of heart/soul actions coming back as warm fuzzies. Everyday of our life we are confronted with choices and actions that we must make.To forgive oneself and others, a processing of emotions must take place.The familiar emotions of hate, jealousy, anger, greed, frustration, revenge etc. are all fear based and extend from ego choices. The denial of these fear-based emotions will be a roadblock to your recovery. You must meet these emotions, feel them, name them,and accept them as part of the healing process that takes place when one is dealing with a forgiveness situation.So if I'm ready to forgive Michael Vick ,first I must deal with my true emotions connected to his heinous acts of cruelty. Processing can take years or months because there is no timeline for processing.I can rightfully assume that his cruel actions stemmed from the ego and not from the heart/soul.And I can rightfully hold him accountable for his ego actions.I can rightfully hold Mrs. Vick accountable for choosing to uphold his cruel actions as acceptable. Because she is choosing to act from the ego. But I must also realize that I've got some serious emotions regarding the heinous acts of cruelty. I need time to process these emotions and my road to recovery will not take place until I process my own negative emotions.I must also focus on the fact that Mr. Vick , his mother and I not only have an ego but we also have a heart/soul.If I choose to ignore their perfect heart/soul then I also choose to ignore my own perfect heart/soul. I have work to do and they have work to do. Life will continue to give us the same experiences or situations until we decided to learn the True essence of the experience or situation. All experiences are labeled as either good or bad by us but the true reality is that the experience is just a learning experience. When the student accomplishes the heart/soul connection, the lesson or experience is finished.The student has learned the true essence of the experience or lesson. The experience or teacher will disappear from their life. At that moment we pick up a clean slate and we move forward utilizing the heart/soul choice that we learned. We don't look back and dredge up the ego choices that are no longer apart of us.The past is dead and will only live again in our minds. So move forward with a clean slate and give yourself all the love you deserve. As newborn babies, we were all gifted with a beautiful heart.Linda Stevens
Posted by: Linda Stevens | August 29, 2007 at 10:41 AM
Dear Linda,
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and perspective. I will remember these messages in particular:
"Life will continue to give us the same experiences or situations until we decided to learn the True essence of the experience or situation. All experiences are labeled as either good or bad by us but the true reality is that the experience is just a learning experience.
The past is dead and will only live again in our minds. So move forward with a clean slate and give yourself all the love you deserve. As newborn babies, we were all gifted with a beautiful heart."
I'm going to work on this! Thanks again for offering yourself. May others too be blessed by it.
Debbe
Posted by: Debbe Kennedy, Global Dialogue Center PERSPECTIVES Blog | September 03, 2007 at 05:29 PM
Debbe, I did want to share one more important idea with you.It is true that we intellectually understand that we are already forgiven. But we don't alwaysfeel we are forgiven. The processing of your emotions connected to a situation, or person involving a forgiveness situation is most important. Since you have the gift of writing, I would encourage you to sit down alone and write exactly how you feel about your brother/sister etc. with regard to a forgiveness situation. Some people will feel the desire to write such things as he/she needs to be crucified,dead etc.Don't think ill of yourself for admitting this and much worse. Better to face your emotions and feelings than put them on the back burner and think they have traveled far away. The emotions and feelings only linger in your mind and affect your present/future behavior. Write 25 pages about the situation if you want but just make sure that you get all your feelings out in the open. No one else really needs to see what you write. You will make a very striking revelation that you and your brother/sister have quite a few things in common.It's a rather humbling experience, not to say that you will never go through the process again with another brother or sister. But the next time you will know immediately that the judgment process of another will also be involving yourself. Because it takes one to know one. In other words you would not have any understanding of another's transgressions if you yourself had not participated in like transgressions at some level.It may be a considerable lesser level than your brother and sister but nevertheless that transgression helped you to comprehend their transgression.And as I said before always remember you are writing about a person's ego actions, but you recognize their perfect heart and soul which remains in that state throughout life on this earth. And if you still have a difficult time finding anything good about your brother and sister then remember that they taught you what not to do. So they were your fantastic teacher. Many people come and go in our life and they help us understand so many important aspects of our life. None of us can truly say that we and we alone are responsible for our accomplishments whether we are a famous scientist , writer, athlete, whatever.I have been fortunate to have an experience or teacher come into my life many times.And there is a wonderful quote that states when the student is ready the master(or teacher) will appear. Each time there is another transformation that takes place within me and I am no longer the same. We are all constantly changing. And so I wish you all the best. Linda
Posted by: Linda Stevens | September 04, 2007 at 02:07 PM
Hi Linda,
Thanks for you post. I have printed it to read and take in. Will write shortly.
Debbe
Posted by: Debbe Kennedy, Global Dialogue Center PERSPECTIVES Blog | September 05, 2007 at 01:45 PM
Linda,
Great insights you have on this topic of forgiveness. Through a few of life's tragedies, I've been doing as you suggest over the years. With deep gratitude, I forgiveness comes easier now. Most of all I've learned that if I don't know all the reasons or feelings, I do appreciate that it all got me here --- the rest I just let go. Emmet Fox, 20th Century scientist, philosopher, and spiritual teacher wrote in one of his books: "Never look back. Move right ahead, even when you're quaking. ...God is always on the road ahead." For me, this has been true.
I also have a Women in the Lead INSPIRATION BLOG...hope you'll visit. http://www.globaldialoguecenter.blogs.com/women
Thanks again for the insightful posts. You've made me and I'm sure others THINK more deeply on this topic.
Debbe
Posted by: Debbe Kennedy, Global Dialogue Center PERSPECTIVES Blog | September 07, 2007 at 07:32 AM