perspectives

MICHAEL VICK's Apology: "There but for the Grace of God, go I."

I don't know much about Michael Vick. I admit I am not a sports fan. His reported behavior and abuse of dogs is beyond comprehension. However, I would like to cast the light on his public apology.

Michael Vick's public apology was one of the best --- and one of the first heart-felt apologies --- I've heard by any world leader, public official or celebrity in many years. It took a lot of courage for Michael Vick to stand up and make the admissions he made today on a public stage from his heart. I can't remember seeing such a "true confession" by a celebrity or leader at any level. No excuses. No half-truths. No blaming. His face and eyes and words came across as TRUTH and by doing so, he set a new standard for accepting responsibility for one's mistakes, poor judgment and its implications on the lives of others --- and in this case the lives of innocent animals. Thank you, Michael Vick.

What's been ringing in my ears for days when I've heard the reports on Michael's case is "There but for the Grace of God, go I." The reports that have been the most distressing are the ones with finger-pointers with their mean words thrown out carelessly, blaming, calling him names and yelling in modern day terms, "Crucify him." It makes me wonder about our capacity for compassion for one another. I wonder if those with mean-spirited words for Michael Vick have examined their on lives lately? Or if any of them have ever stood up publically with such courage?

Every time I've thought about his mom and family, or imagined how devastating it must be for him to wake up in the morning, knowing he has demolished at least temporarily a pretty remarkable life with promise that he had going --- all in the name of momentary power and few poor decisions, because he could. It makes my heart ache for him.

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"There but for the Grace of God, go I."
Inspired by following Michael Vick's story in the distance, Bay Area artist, Sally K. Green, traced the history of this famous quote that we hear so often and discovered it was said by John Bradford in a moment of compassion for someone else in the year circa 1555. She painted a painting of John Bradford today with the story to remind us to have compassion for others in the human family in distress.
Go see the painting and story.

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MICHAEL VICK IN CONTRAST TO OUR LEADERS
It is interesting to contrast of Michael Vick's courageous apology with that of the lawyer written apologies, half-hearted apologies, or non-existent apologies of our most powerful leaders of the world.

As an example, Desmond TuTu commented sometime back on the value of saying we are sorry and the BIGNESS it takes to do so. He shared his perspective related to  George Bush's and Tony Blair's inability to make amends for their blunders in the Iraq War. Desmond TuTu shared his comments several years ago --- the war rages on with no end in sight --- and no apology or admission of wrong doing. One must note that there are far bigger implications and costs in lives of people, soldiers, and animals in their mistakes, as well as destruction of infrastructure, fraud, displacing millions of people from their homes, misappropriation of public funds, abuses to our fellow citizens, lies and poor judgment. But rumor has it that they won't be either accepting, or be held to any such accountability as Michael Vick is called to do. This is certainly a clear example of a double standard laws of our broken society and governments.

INSIGHTS FROM DESMOND TUTU
"How wonderful if politicians could bring themselves to admit they are only fallible human creatures and not God and thus by definition can make mistakes. Unfortunately, they seem to think that such an admission is a sign of weakness. Weak and insecure people hardly ever say 'sorry'.

"It is large-hearted and courageous people who are not diminished by saying: 'I made a mistake'.

...We've seen it at home in South Africa in the Truth and Reconciliation Commission when people who had made, I mean, perpetrated some of the most ghastly atrocities say, "Sorry." It has an incredible capacity to change the dynamics of a situation. Well, those of us who are married know just how difficult it is. It is the most difficult set of words to say in any language. I find it difficult to say it in the privacy of our bedroom, to say, "Sorry, darling, I -- yes, I'm sorry." But what it can accomplish. You say sorry. It pours balm. We've seen it do that. A country that should have gone up in flames, South Africa, was saved by the fact that people were ready to forgive, and people were ready to say, "Sorry." That would be the first step."

FORGIVENESS for Michael:
"There but for the Grace of God, go I."
What has really touched me about this case with Michael Vick has been watching how easily we can fall from Grace. A few wrong turns and we've ruined our reputation, lost our careers, disappointed those who looked to us for leadership, left our mothers heart-broken and left a long and winding road to walk to reach redemption. It is one of those times, when you think of many temptations in your own life that could have so easily led you down a life-altering road and it makes it easy to say, "There but for the Grace of God, go I."

To Michael Vick --- Thank for your leadership today. It was refreshing. I forgive you. I look up to you for setting an example for us all in how to say we are sorry.

Debbe

Debbe Kennedy
Founder, Global Dialogue Center and
Leadership Solutions Companies
www.globaldialoguecenter.com

NORTH KOREA: BULLYING by Example??

The other evening, by an unexpected sequence of events, I found myself left in a place of self-examination of actions and conscience. It started with a news report on CNN about Kim Jong-il. It was personal profile about North Korea's infamous leader, poking fun at him personally in every way one could imagine --- from describing his "bouffant hair" and "platform shoes used to increase his stature" to meanly joking about his lust for "young beautiful woman" --- an attribute not so uncommon among men worldwide, yes? They dug deep, with great contempt, to spotlight how he lets his people starve and live in unthinkable squalor ---- hmmm!...don't we do this ourselves in our own country and as we turn our heads away in places like Darfur and southeastern Nigeria with people begging for our help; others dying because they don't have it? The bantering went on with a tone meant to demean, "If he weren't North Korea's leader, we might start by calling him, hilarious. It went on, each cutting remark more personal in its attack.

I'm not sticking up for Kim Jong-il. However, as a recovering chubby girl, who was victim of this kind of mean-spirited talk by cruel boys, it gave me pause and flashbacks I can't believe I still remember. These same kind of "poke-fun" remarks came out of the mouths of many of our US top officials, military leaders and experts on the talk shows as they spoke about Kim Jong-il earlier this week after his unexpected show of dangerous bravado in launching seven missiles when the world least expected it. Only two that I heard ---- Bill Richardson and Madeleine Albright --- spoke about the need for MORE respectful communications as a start to building peaceful relations with North Korea and other neighbors.

QUESTIONS:
Of what value are the personal assaults?
How do personal assaults build bridges to understanding?
How do they help solve an obvious diplomatic crisis???
How do they lead to addressing the deepest human needs of all people?
How do personal assaults ever add value in any situation?

BULLYING BY EXAMPLE:
Interestingly, the feature that followed this report was on BULLYING of kids. It highlighted the horrors of bullying of school children, with a bunch of self-righteous adults discussing how our children must be stopped from bullying one another. I found myself asking, have we not set the example by our own behavior regularly??? Look at how we all treat one another ---- our political system is full of constant bullying; our foreign policy system carries a similar reputation; our talk shows; our movies; our TV shows are full of violence and bullying tactics; many of our corporations act without human care ---- aren't these seeding and manifesting what our children experience? aren't our own personal behaviors the teachers and perpetuators of this BULLYING plague? I bet it isn't too difficult to remember the last time you belittled or made fun of someone?

BULLYING PERSPECTIVE
Today I went to a website in New Zealand [http://www.nobully.org.nz/advicek.htm] to get an outside perspective. It was a site for children and their parents. See if these insights sound familiar:

WHAT IS BULLYING?
Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. Some of the ways they bully other people are by: calling them names, saying or writing nasty things about them, leaving them out of activities, not talking to them, threatening them, making them feel uncomfortable or scared, taking or damaging their things, hitting or kicking them, or making them do things they don't want to do.

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE BULLY?
There are a lot of reasons why some people bully. They may see it as a way of being popular, or making themselves look tough and in charge. Some bullies do it to get attention or things, or to make other people afraid of them. Others might be jealous of the person they are bullying. They may be being bullied themselves. Some bullies may not even understand how wrong their behaviour is and how it makes the person being bullied feel.

Do you see what I mean?

Maybe we can start a new trend. First check your own behavior. Love your neighbor...love your enemies. As violence begets violence. So does respect beget respect. I'm with you. I plan to put these lessons into practice myself.

Debbe

Debbe Kennedy
Founder, Global Dialogue Center

The Apprentice: The BIG and small of it

Donald Trump prides himself on being a BIG thinker. “I like thinking big. If you’re going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.” Obviously, last night in the final moments of his Apprentice Finale, there was no BIG thinking going on. Instead, we all watched the actions of two men, both held up as “great” LEADERS --- both exposing  themselves in the final minutes to be nothing more than small men, characterized for the world to see, by their on words and actions.

I admit it, I was stunned by Randel Pinkett’s last minute switch in behavior. After already winning the title of Apprentice, the big prize, this touted leader, recognized for his “leadership caring for others,” chose self-interest over a call-to-be leader. Watching Randal as he betrayed his friend and colleague, Rebecca, in a play for personal power, all that was tall and handsome, seemed to just turn into an ugly moment of truth that radiated from his face. As he spoke the words, there was even kind of snarl that flashed over his the look of kindness seen in other episodes. In that moment, all the fancy clothes, degrees and other scholarly distinctions were over shadowed by a decision---by words and actions unbecoming to a leader, especially from man who by is own admission thought of Rebecca as a “little sister” and but highly qualified for the win.

Unfortunately, Donald Trump didn’t do much better. He did look stunned but he even whimped out, never even smoothing the awkward disregard and disrespect that filled the stage. Rebecca, left I am certain in a shattered, humiliating disbelief, closed the show with dignity and grace --- as she stayed visibly untouched, obviously held together by the same inner strength she exhibited throughout the show.

Randal also showed his business immaturity in seeing that this was a title he didn’t want to share. There was no sharing. There were clearly two job opportunities and Rebecca lost one of them, because of Randal’s desire for the full attention on him. What is truly sad about it is that his win will forever be tarnished by this split second decision, but it is those moments of challenge when leaders are called to GREATNESS. Randal and Trump failed this test.

”The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

--- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Did you watch?

What did you see and learn?

Debbe Kennedy

Another perspective: Dr. Alex Pattakos

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