Women in the LEAD

Listening from Around the World

  This week I had a very eye opening experience.  I had the distinct pleasure of being in close dialogue with 15 women leaders from around the world.  The women came together for a two weeks of study and collaboration at The Global Women’s Leadership Center at Santa Clara University. The purpose of their gathering was to bring issues and concerns from their businesses and or working lives that effect the growth and development of their countries. The program was set up so that the women can explore, in collaboration, potential solutions to these concerns.

As most know, when women come together, much support is shared and many solutions are realized.  The most moving life story of the day was, for me, the story shared by a lawyer from Uganda who brought to the group a strong concern that she has about women, land and the hopeless direction of their lives in Uganda.  She explained that when a woman holds land in Uganda, she becomes an important part of the power source of the country and went on to say that only a small handful of women are among the lucky few. Land gives her a base to work from, a place to grow crops and a place of stability from where she can raise her children.  She spoke of the control that men hold over women and how they hold almost all of the power, the land and crops and the resources.  She went on to say that the women experience much violence and abuse and have very little opportunity to escape, to get ahead or to have a voice in her country.

She happened to be presenting her story to a group of venture capitalists in the Silicon Valley who were all women. The audience was a group of supporting women who were there to understand issues that women from across the globe face. As she spoke and explained the severe needs of these women, tears fell from the eyes of most of the women in the room. A strong sense of empathy, care and concern was experienced by all. She made it very clear that we do not want hand outs we only want to be partners. She asked the women not to give look down at then and give to them as though they were needy but to make friends and to be partners. She said she did not want a hand outs, but asked for joined hands. The mood in the room was like no other that I have ever experienced.

Women began to raise their hands and say “What can we do to help?”  Major US telecommunications companies stepped forth and offered to develop mentoring relationships between the women in their companies and the women in Uganda. Checks were written and alliances were formed that I am sure will clearly be life long.

What I realize from being apart of this amazing experience is that when we speak clearly about what we need, the world hears us and there are many possibilities for solutions and support that to us alone may even feel impossible. This experience taught me a great deal. I will never forget the joy on her face when she finally felt heard. I can not begin to imagine the joy that she will experience when she goes back to her country with renewed hope and the newly found potential of helping hundreds of women to own a small piece of land which will lead them towards a life of freedom, power and promise.

May we each find a way to make a difference in the world each day that we live.

Maureen Simon

JAPAN's Women Ask New Questions

What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.  --- Nathaniel Hawthorne

This was the wonderful dream in my head and heart.
How about you?  What do you think?  What completes you?

Interestingly, today women's lives continue to change and evolve and considerations about careers and marriage demonstrate new options are being considered. Since Japan's economy ground to a halt some years back, it brought on a time of introspection about traditional values in Japan and its role in the world. In an article in BBC News by Sarah Buckley, we learn that Japan's women are changing their attitudes about marriage. Here are a few insights that cast a new light on tradition:

Sumiko Iwao, author of The Japanese Woman, shares that many women no longer have marriage as an important goal. "I guess they do not plan to stay single, they just don't meet with the kind of people they want to marry. They don't feel obsessed with being a housewife. If you find a good husband, that's fine, and if you don't, that's also fine. Japanese women tend to be very practical and very pragmatic. What are the benefits of getting married?"

In Japan, unmarried parents are still rare. So the main "benefit" of marriage  reportedly is children. And that is the point at which modern freedoms clash headlong with traditional expectations. For those marrying, many report that their husbands work long hours, child-care is hard to find and baby sitters are expensive ($18/hr) Also, if women decide to work part-time, they are paid less than half that of a full-time worker. "Changing expectations, both of relationships and careers, mean women across Japan, from school-leavers to members of the royal family, are grappling with a choice between traditional roles and modern freedoms."

The part of the story that made me smile was the part of about the latest rival to marriage. "Veronique is just one of a string of establishments in catering for a boom in Japanese dog owners. Reportedly, its success may be as much due to a rejection of marriage as a new-found love for a little dog.

"There are lots of women who have dogs as their family or child," said Rie Shimozono, the shop's owner. "They carry the dog in a bag so that they are always spending time with it."

A family psychiatrist, Ryoko Ishikawa, shares that she believes 30 something women are not prepared to "repeat their mothers' mistakes" in settling for the tradition role of housewife. She notes that that her clients aspirations were not supported by their husbands.

How do you feel about marriage and the balance with the demands of your career from your unique vantage point in the world?

What are the marriage "norms" where you live and work?

Read the entire article by Sarah Buckley BBC News.

Debbe Kennedy

THE GIFT OF GAB

In August, 1973, I had the special and distinct honor of kissing the Blarney Stone at Blarney Castle in Ireland. I proudly took away a plaque that be quested me, in theory, with “the gift of eloquence”. The plaque says” Now that you have kissed the stone, you are sent forth with the gift of eloquence which the Blarney Stone bestows. I’m not quite sure what all this means, but somehow I believe my intrigue with language may have stemmed from this very intriguing kiss.  As it turns out, my life now involves a love affair with communication on all levels.  I have to stopped and wondered if that special day in August 1973 had anything to do with my deep love and respect for caring, powerful communication.

Since I was a child, I loved to listen to people speak, to the words they used and the way they structured language.  I was brought up with Irish parents and came to learn that they pronounced many words differently.  Throughout my life, I’ve been fascinated by accents and diversity.  For me, the way we speak to each other is a symbol of the respect and honor that we hold for each person who crosses our path.  I believe there are many areas where we can improve our communication with each other.  I truly believe that when we place attention on the way we speak to each other, we can learn a great deal about the powerful messages we send out on a moment to moment basis.  Human sensitivity is at a heightened state.  We hear things beyond the what the spoken word offers.  It is essential to speak with responsibility, respect and compassion.

Here are a few questions to answer to determine your style of communication:

1. When you speak, do you hear any accusation or blame in your voice?
2. Are your questions open ended?  Do they allow for open dialogue and response?
3. When you speak, do you have an agenda or are you able to hear fully the response of the person you are speaking to?
4. Do you use your voice in a loud, aggressive or uncompassionate manner?

These questions are just a few thoughts to spur you on, and to allow you to think more deeply about how you are communicating.  Kissing the Blarney Stone for me was an eye opener, an experience that I will never forget.  I have thought often of the symbolism of this great stone and the art that the gift of eloquence bestows.

Maureen Simon

Why Women? Why Now?

In my moments of contemplation I often come back to the question of-- why women now need to step forth more than ever before in the world to assume powerful roles in leadership.  It's probably more the feminine that needs to take rise than women themselves, but since women naturally hold feminine attributes, the responsibility lies on them to bring forth these great gifts.  The current leadership of the world has led us to 33 active wars, children playing in mind fields, unsafe nuclear facilities and a strong craving for power and dominance.  The feminine naturally hold attributes of care and compassion, relationship building, looking after and caring for the whole. The preservation of the earth and the planet are a natural concern of the feminine as they are the place that her childern are born, play and to grow.

How differently would the world look if the feminine stood side-by-side and provided powerful, meaningful leadership in the world.  My strong opinion is that men and women would be making more collective world decisions and dominance would recede, great thought and care would go into environmental regulations and decisions that are made regarding the earth and galaxies that touch our lives.  I am so convinced that mine field would be cleaned up and that a deeper, more thoughtful conversation would take place when conflict arises, resulting in fewer world wars.

The feminine has been held back for over 30,000 years when she last stood and voiced herself side by side with the masculine.  She has been silenced and lost.  Her greatness, perception and wisdom have been held back and not shown their face where most needed - in business, politics and in our communities in general.  I believe that women now are being called forth to find their voice in areas for which they hold great passion and conviction.   In areas, where they feel they can make a contribution to the current state of the world.  In order for women to come forth and make a difference, they must first:

§         Know thyself - deeply understand the essence of your life, why you are here and what is the greatest contribution you can make

§         Build our voice - Learn to speak clearly, concisely and with power about the issues that are most important to you in the world.

§         To Develop collaborative relationships of like-minded women - Discover who shares your voice and conviction

§         Take clear focused action in the world - bring out your greatest leadership skills and capabilities.

The world needs you now more than ever.  You are the leader you have been waiting for.

Maureen Simon

How Are You Leaving the Places Your Life Touches?

As a child I was heavily influenced by my father. He saw the world in the most unusual way. His love of life and sense of excitment remain with me many years after his passing. His committment to kindness and fairness have never left me. I remember  the day that he told me to "always leave any place you enter better than it was when you arrived". For a young girl this was a very large and profound thought, one that I have continued to ponder for years after his passing.

For over thirty years, I would say on a weekly basis, this thought has re-entered my mind. I have continued to asked myself questions such as:

• Am I contributing to the world each day as I work , play and interact with friends and collegues. How?
• Am I walking with a light foot print on the earth? When I leave this earth will I leave having damaged little and planted lots?
• When I listen to those in my life ,can I hear and fully understand from their perspective? Can I walk in their shoes?
• What are the areas of my life where my specific gifts and talents can now make the greatest contributin to this world? I am I fully contributing these gifts and talents?

I have to thank my father for leaving me with this most helpful thought.

Maureen Simon

Inner Solitude

  “In everyone’s inner solitude there is a bright and warm hearth.” 
---John O’Donahue

“Man needs reckless courage to descend into the abyss of himself.” 
---Yeats

Inner solitude comes from being brave enough to take the journey within and to find the bright and warm hearth that each of us holds in the depths of our hearts and souls.  The challenges of life sometimes move us away from the deep and natural connection that is available to us on a daily basis in the solitude and inner world that we each hold. 

It takes a brave soul to enter into the abyss of herself to discover the light and dark and the weakness and the potential that is individual to each of us.  Connection to our inner solitude allows us the opportunity to listen deeply from within, to recharge and regroup, and to reenter the world with greater clarity, strength and conviction. Think back to a time when you felt a particularly strong sense of inner peace.  Where were you?  What senses were particularly enlivened?  What was the feeling in your body? 

Inner solitude is available to us at all times in all areas of our lives.  Take time on a daily basis to reconnect with this inner solitude and to allow it to be enlivened in each breath, moment and activity that your life holds.

Maureen Simon

Leadership Lessons from Women in Africa

Around the world, we are seeing so many wonderful examples of women discovering their essential roles in creating a better future in the business, political, markeplace, community and home fronts. As these 21st Century pioneers forge new paths, there are lessons for all of us to learn and apply to our own spans of influence and opportunity.

Harriet Harman, Minister of State, Constitutional Affairs in the UK is certainly one good example. When asked what her most meaningful achievement had been she shared, "Being part of the government which introduced the National childcare strategy and the New Deal for lone parents." The resulting childcare partnership created 4,100 more after-school club places for local children and supporting its new deal personal advisors who helped make 28,000 children better off by helping their mothers move off benefits into work.

She continues to work with other leaders to empower and support women ---- I read an inspiring story of her recent travels associated with an exchange programme in an article entitled, Good Women from Africa " that has lessons for us all. The article included a beautiful picture of Monica Mbega, Government Minister in Tanzania with Harriet Harman when they met with mothers at a school. Just looking at the picture said much about the whole group of women, together each, mothers and leaders, in their own rights working together for common good.

Reportedly, there is already a good understanding in the public mind that African women are important to development in Africa --- they care for the children in the family, their work at home is critical for the health of all family members and women are key to preventing the spread of HIV infection. What is less understood is the crucial role of women in Africa play in the political development of Africa, in building democracy. "They are central to the new breed of politicians who offer Africa the opportunity for a deeply rooted, uncorrupted democracy."

African women MPs (members of Parliament) say they have to do their politics differently from the men. They explain they are "not seen as traditional figures of authority in the way that men are." They have to gain the people's confidence by being genuinely interested in their needs and demonstrating that they can count on their MP to help them. They work to build coalitions and political support.

Monica Mbega has sixteen children. Three are hers and thirteen are the orphans of her two elder brothers and sister, who died of Aids. This reality is reportedly not uncommon there. In fact, many young women before they have their own children have to reach inside themselves to find the courage and capacity to become the mothers to their sibling's children who have been orphaned.

Women in many African countries are described as a "breath of fresh air and real hope for democracy." Read the entire article.

As I read the article and looked into the beautiful faces in the picture of these leaders and mothers and reflected on their story, I realized that these amazing qualities that are demonstrated in their inspiring story -----the qualities of courage, ingenuity, capacity to love and calm and heal, to teach and nurture and to build trust and reinvent --- are the qualities that we need everywhere in the world today---qualities that lie within us too. It also came to me that by their example, the good women of Africa are calling upon us to join them, developing our capacity to change the landscape of our workplaces, marketplaces, communities where we live --- in businesses, politics, the public sector, government and in our homes.

Let's work together to encourage the development of the essential qualities we hold within us. It is our turn. We have to teach the world in ways that our inherent in us, as women. We have to learn from the leadership lessons of women setting the example for us and in then work apply what we learn to our own lives and work, discovering our own innovative ways of being a leader of substance and influence.

"...one has to have a calling to become a true teacher. And above all things, one needs a bounty of courage. The calling informs the teacher that her knowledge is needed in new uncharted areas, and courage makes the teacher dare the journey."

--- Maya Angelou, Even the Stars Look Lonesome

What lessons do you see in the story of these women pioneering new
levels of leadership? What other qualities spoke to you about your
opportunity for leadership in your own right?

Debbe Kennedy

Our Inner Dialogue Relates To Our Personal Power

Recently I have been on an inner quest to more deeply understand how my thoughts and how the voices in my head directly relate to the landscape of my life. A few years back, I took a course with Deepak Chopra entitled “Synchro- Destiny. The concepts that we covered have stayed with me for years and have continued to force me to look more deeply at the choices that I am making in my life and how these choices are directly linked to the outcome and my quality of life.

The course lasted almost a week and explored a number of very important life issues including:

§         how we can create miracles in our lives

§         how are all connected to each other and all else that exists in the world

§         how our intentions directly relate to the outcomes in our life

§         how to deal with emotional turbulence in today’s world

§          understanding the importance of relationship and how it is  the most important thing in our life

§          how our inner dialogue reflects our “self-power”

 

Volumes could be written on each one of the topics that I mentioned above but the one that I keep revisiting is the last one —“how my inner dialogue reflects my “self power”” If you stop yourself through out the day and notice on the spot the thoughts that are ruling you –you might be surprised. I have been doing this simple exercise frequently these days in order to help me to understand specifically how my ongoing inner dialogue relates to my personal power, contribution and quality of life. I have noticed when I focus on the possibilities, potential and joy the conversations and experiences that I have reflect this positive attitude. I realize that for most of us it is challenging to live day to day with only positive thoughts but, I am now clear that when the positive out weight the negative thoughts we attract a far more interesting life!

Try this:

• Notice what your dominant thoughts are say for a whole day. Just observe these thoughts and make a few notes of the key repeating thoughts.
• Practice self awareness—observe specifically how your life is influenced by your thinking.
• Notice the thoughts that are not serving you at this time.
• Decide what thoughts that you are now ready to release.
• Release them!

Maureen Simon